Life

By Delroy Nesta Williams and Dionne Francis

There’s something I’ve been wondering

Wondering from the day of my birth

What’s my purpose here on earth?

From a younging, I’ve been questioning

And no one's willing to provide the answer

I’m feeling like I’m searching for the unknown,

Someone lend me a compass,

Help me in the right direction.

Though in my mind I’m still wondering

If it'll be the right direction

What if it’s advice derived from an imagination?

What if the answer does not meet up to my satisfaction?

I just started my route but I wonder if it’s going to be rocky, curved or straight at the end

Is there a heavenly gate?

Some say at the end you see the light

Will my quest be easy or do I have to put up a fight?

I feel like I'm heading towards self-destruction

Like I'm about to drink this concoction,

Leading to suicide,

A fate from which I just can't hide

What about all my hopes and dreams?

I’m simple tired of this frustrating reality

Should I really take the next step and jump?

Will I crash and burn to the floor

Or suddenly develop wings of an angel and soar?

Fly through the sky and look at the world from the clouds,

Suddenly my life has no bounds,

I can do all that i put my mind too,

It's like I've suddenly discovered superpowers,

A means to and end of my struggles

I know it's all a risk

But it's one I’m willing to take

I need to differentiate between what's real and what's fake

My life feels like pieces of a puzzle scattered

Like some sort of a brain teaser to put together

I often ask myself "am I in my right mind?"

But is there even a wrong mind?

Am I not supposed to make my own decisions?

From today I am on a new mission.

No more stressing,

Or seeking answers without asking the right questions

Need to understand who I am,

Before I find my place within the master's plan,

Or is it the other way around?

Now I am even more confused and feeling dumb...

Life is really a maze,

Getting through it depends on the steps you take

And one wrong decision of the past,

Can lead to you being miles off track.

But never stop running, never stop moving,

Because that's when the situation overwhelms you,

And you find yourself in a world of trouble.

But in the end it's all worth it,

You can look back at your life and say "hey, I’ve made it"

You may not get to the finish line looking perfect,

But once you get to end you will realize

All the bullshit was time well spent. 

Are women the key to curbing the drug lifestyle?

I wrote this article for my column, The Chronicles of Nesta, at da-finest.com but the site has been under maintenance for a while now and I just can't sit by and wait anymore so I’ve decided to share the article here on my blog in the meantime - good thing I have a blog too :p.

The article speaks to the drug culture present in Dominica and maybe in other Caribbean countries and how women can probably curb the lifestyle. As always, comments are always welcomed:


Are women the key to curbing the drug lifestyle?

Now before I am attacked by all the feminists and activists, I must tell you that this article isn't against women or a part of the blame game. It is merely an insight into the mind of men, more particularly disadvantaged and marginalized young men.

The Caribbean has been plagued with an increase in crime and violence, something that has been outlined in numerous reports and more recently in the Eye on the Future Report - a report of the CARICOM Commission on Youth Development supported by the United Nations Development Programme in January 2010. A significant portion of those negative actions have been targeted towards and perpetrated by youth, and more particularly young men. A statement in the report indicates that in 2005, Dominican youth were 46 percent of homicide victims, yet represented only 38% of the general population. So in truth and in fact, we are hurting our own selves.

Many academics have spent many an hour and much money delving into the reasons why young people get involved in criminal behavior and it has been ascribed to a number of issues including socio-economic background, peer pressure, influence of American media, etc. However the role of young women and their acceptance of deviant behavior haven’t been exposed as a contributing factor to this phenomenon.

Young men, and more importantly Caribbean men, have always sought acceptance from young women. I would go as far as saying that their every action is directed at attracting the opposite sex. In the tradition of things, young men go to school, to get an education which would lead to a secure job in other to attract their partners but now with modernization and the “fast” money lifestyle, young men have been magnetized towards drugs and crime to fulfill their lofty ambitions. The end-goal though, is still the same – to attract the female partner(s).

Our society has shifted a lot of its core values; more “deviant” behavior is accepted than would have been the case several years ago - for better and for worse as well. The acceptance of the “Papas” into our society has created a certain security and economical gateway for the “ghetto” youth but for only a few. However it is that few, that seems to be the greatest influence, marshaling the onlookers to want to emulate them. The drug lifestyle in itself has brought a wave of crime and violence, like something out of the “New Jack City” movie where Wesley Snipes as Nino Brown, easily turned a New York City block into his own drug fortress. Our own versions of this television character now runs our communities, maybe not with the precision and tenacity as in the movies, but from all indications this is what it is developing into right before our own eyes.

However in New Jack City, we saw how Snipes had a change of heart, influenced by his love for the female gender and how that love was even greater than his love of the criminal lifestyle. He ended up being wheelchair-bound but still with the love of his woman and son. Maybe that should be the lesson we learn from that movie, the role and influence of a woman on man’s ambitions.

If our women, our young women disassociate themselves from the criminal element, this could prove an eye opener for them and spur them to change from this negative lifestyle but that is a big IF, because the young women themselves seem to love and flourish from the gains thereof.

It’s a vicious cycle, this drug problem and more complex than could be tacked from a mere article but it is my hope that I have raised some level of awareness and opened up an area for discussion.