First Date

First Date

By Delroy Nesta Williams

Caris had always liked Sanya, even from way back during his days at the Goodwill Secondary School. But she was never interested in him; she was too busy flirting with all the teachers to take notice of his childhood crush. He would have done anything for her back then and even now as they had maintained a close bond.

Caris always wanted to be in a relationship with her but was very careful not to get too emotionally attached even if deep down in his heart he had always loved Sanya and she was all that he had ever wanted from a lover. Even after all his past girlfriends, he always felt in his heart that she was the one for him but he had realized early that he wasn’t her type and was somewhat content to stay in the shadows and be the man that she needed, especially when she couldn’t have the man that she wanted.

She had just gotten out of a serious breakup and although Caris knew that the rebound situation wasn’t the ideal way to get her to fall in love with him, he would still try his luck, even if it screamed of desperation.

His friends had already teased him that he was putting Sanya’s “pussy on a pedestal” and for that reason, they felt he would never cross the friendship line with her. He was stuck in the friend zone of camaraderie and that was as far as he would ever get with her. Curtis and Bully tried on many occasions to knock some sense into Caris but he couldn’t let go. Letting go of your lover is hard enough, letting go off your first crush and love was proving to be damn near impossible for Caris. He wanted Sanya and that was all that mattered to him.

He needed to make his move, if not now then he would not get another chance like that in years. He was certain this was the appropriate time. He was just stepping out of the office to meet up with Curtis and Bully for their customary mid-week lime - a stop at the After 4 Lounge for beers and guy talk. Curtis would boast of his weekly female conquests while Bully would pick on Caris for his ineptitude with the female sex. It wasn’t that Caris couldn’t get a woman; the guys were more perturbed that he was obsessed with Sanya as The Woman. They didn’t see what he saw; in fact, they were probably blind to it. Kereem was the only sensible one in the crew, well that’s the way that Caris saw it. Kereem fed Caris’ dream as much as he could, he was the ultra-motivator that Caris needed when he thoughts of giving up on Sanya surfaced, which was often enough.

As he was about to start up his ride, his cell phone rang. He looked at the screen, it was Sanya. Caris breathed in hard, calming himself before he dragged his finger against the screen.

            “Hi, who is this?” he answered, in the calmest voice he could muster, although he was nervously excited.

            “Caris?” she questioned.

            “Yes Caris!” he confirmed.

            “You don’t have my number stored in your phone? I am not calling you from an unknown number,”

            “Yes I do, I am just playing around.”

            “Oh, I was wondering why you didn’t know it was me,”

“I know it’s you Sanya, I recognize that voice anywhere I hear it… So, what’s up?

“I am cool, just about to leave work, what you up to?”

“Gonna chill with my boys,”

“Oh okay, them!”

“You had something in mind?” Caris asked, almost too eagerly.

“No, not really, we just haven’t hung out in a while, Caris!”

“I know, we gotta make some time for that,” Caris said, anticipating a request as the phone almost slipped from his now sweaty palm.

“I guess we will hang out sometime soon,”

“Yes, I guess,”

“I wanted to go out this weekend, the Jah Cure concert but I am broke,”

“I am going. I wouldn’t miss Jah Cure,”

“Enjoy then,” she slowly uttered.

“Let me buy you a ticket then,” Caris offered.

“You would? Thank you Caris, I appreciate it! I know just what I want to wear,”

“No problem,” Caris pronounced.

“Well go and enjoy your lime,”

“Later,” Caris said as he ended the conversation.

“Yes, finally!” he cried out as he kissed the screen of the phone.

Caris was excited; he could hardly control his emotions as he sped across Roseau. He hopped out of his car and met Bully, Kereem and Curtis at the bar. They were already seated looking at the television screen as a Champions League encounter between Manchester United and Bayern Munich occupied their attention.

            “Drinks on me!” Caris shouted across the floor.

            “Seriously?” Bully inquired.

            “Yes, I’ve got some great news. Carib beers for everybody!”

            “You got a promotion? You won the lottery? You got some pussy? What is it?” Curtis demanded.

            “Better than that?” Caris responded.

            “Nothing can be better than pussy, unless it’s two pussies!” Bully affirmed.

            “It’s Sanya!” Caris said as he motioned over to a stool next to Bully.

            “I don’t want to hear it. Boy you know you’re never gonna get her, stop waste your time!”

            “Shut up, we’re going out this weekend!”

            “Really? Kereem asked, “Good for you and her!”

            “Finally, I hope you don’t chicken out. Be aggressive, go after her!” Curtis advised.

            “We all know he’s not going to do anything, he just going to sit and smile at her,” said Bully, “I feel like Caris has a vagina between his legs.”

            “You’re not spoiling my mood, not today. We’re going to Jah Cure concert!”

            “Jah Cure?” Kereem asked, almost spilling his drink.

            “You know she just using you to go to see Jah Cure, right?” Bully shouted out, “I won’t be surprised if she ends up in his hotel room after the show.”

            “Nah, she’s not like that, she said we needed to hang out! I think she figured out that I am the man for her, finally!”

            “Boy, move on! Remember I tell you that. You’ve become obsessed over an average woman and that can never be a good thing.”

            “How long has it been since you’re chasing her?” Curtis asked.

            “Too long!” Bully responded before Caris could get a word in.

            “I will do what I have to do. You all will see, this is a new, different and aggressive Caris,”

            “Yea right. Boy, pass me my beer. Just disturbing the game for Sanya talk!”

And before Caris could say anything in his defense, they turned their attention back to the football match. Three rounds of drinks later and an earful of football banter meant that the conversation was in the back of the minds of everybody, everybody except Caris. He snuck out of the bar, which by now was overcrowded with Manchester United fans and had become hostile territory for him, especially as he supported their rivals, Manchester City. He didn’t leave because of that though, he needed to clear his thoughts, he was still thinking about Sanya.

The sun was just about to set as he sat down in front of the steering wheel. He glanced into the rearview mirror, winked at his image, until he forced a slight smile. The bar conversation left him uneasy and he needed some reassurance that he was doing the right thing with Sanya. He turned the key into the ignition and the radio started up. The DJ was playing Jah Cure’s promotional music for the weekend concert. The artist’s Unconditional Love single filled the car – that was all the sign Caris needed as he leaned back and took in the words. He would make his move on Sanya, it was time. He started singing too, screaming out the words as he got lost in the moment. He pictured himself sipping drinks with Sanya at Mero beach, watching the sunset, stretched out on a blanket as she lay against his chest. She was smiling as he whispered in her ear, biting the tip of her earlobe.

            “Boy, what are you doing?” Bully cried out over the music as he tapped the glass.

            “Shut up! I am trying to think,”

            “Sounds like you’re trying to sing!”

            “And your point is?”

            “Nothing dude, just messing around. We’re heading to Icho, you’re coming?”

            “Yea, I will meet all you there!”

            “And please don’t quit your day job for a singing career, you will die broke,” Bully laughed as he walked away from the car.

They spent the next two hours at Icho eating, drinking and playfully chasing skirts. Caris appreciated those moments and although the guys always picked on him, he knew that they all had his best interest at heart.

The rest of the work week was a blur as Caris tried to concentrate at the office but he couldn’t shake thoughts of Sanya from his mind. He picked up the phone several times to call her only to end the call before it had gone through to her.

            “Why am I so nervous?” he questioned. “I am acting like I’ve never spoken to Sanya before; like this is the first time I am going to say two words to her. Get a grip Caris!”

            “Are you okay?” Michael, a coworker asked as he entered the workstation.

            “Yes, why?” Caris replied

            “Well, you’re talking to yourself and it sounded very aggressive. You need to take a break?”

            “No, I am fine… I will be fine!”

            “You’re sure?”

            “Yes I am sure… I will relax later!”

            “Later?” Michael questioned.

            “Yea, I am going to Krazy Coconuts for the Jah Cure concert with a friend,”

            “Sanya?”

            “How did you know?” Caris asked, a little startled.

            “You called out her name!”

            “I did?”

            “Yes, you did! You sure you don’t want to leave work a little earlier today? It’s already Friday and almost everyone has left already,”

            “Maybe I should. It would give me some time to run to Cocorico, pick up a bottle or red wine and a few other things!”

            “Got big plans?”

            “Yes, I do!” Caris affirmed. He also needed that affirmation as well. He doubted himself until the conversation with Michael.

            “Well do your thing!”

            “Thanks man!”

Caris jumped from his seat as he shut down his computer and cleared his desk. He was out of the office. The vibe in Roseau was all about Jah Cure as Caris made his way around town. Reggae was in the air and Caris breathed in deeply as he envisioned his night with Sanya. He would drop by Sanya’s home with a rose and a bottle of wine. Have a glass or two before leaving for the show. He wanted to stop off at Old Stone Bar and Grill and treat Sanya to a nice meal. He had already arranged with the proprietor for a special table in a corner and had asked that it be adorned with ylang-ylang flowers. Caris had picked them himself at the Botanic Gardens on his lunch break. They would also place small chocolates all over the table in a heart shape along with two candles to compliment everything. Sanya was only expecting Jah Cure but Caris would deliver a lot more.

Splashing on some cologne after his bath, he breathed in deeply. It was a do or die moment for him and Caris knew it. He had fogged up the mirror during his shower and as he wiped the surface, he smiled and winked at himself. He felt good; he had stuck to his plans. It was all paying off finally.

As he dressed, he danced away to some Beres Hammond music in the background. He pulled out a brown dress pants from his closet and a plaid dress shirt. His brown Clarks complimented the pants well as they fell over it, just massaging his ankles. He spun around and did a Michael Jackson impression. Caris was in a state of heavenly bliss.

He slammed the door behind him as he exited his riverside apartment. Touching his pockets for the car keys, he remembered the tickets.

“Phew, I almost forgot them,” he thought, shaking his head in disbelief as he returned to the house to retrieve the tickets.

He pulled up a few houses away from Sanya’s in Canefield as he needed a moment to recollect his thoughts and go through his actions for the rest of the night. He had already planned it all out in his mind but needed a reminder. He opened the glove compartment and went through his notes. He needed to be meticulous and aggressive but still with a charming tone.

Caris stepped out of the vehicle and was greeted with a stiff breeze almost knocking his glasses from the bridge of his nose. He stopped for a second put his hands over his face and then proceeded to the house. A few young men were hanging out on the corner smoking weed and drinking, the usual Friday night activity for a lot of young men. As Caris busied past them, one of the young men stopped him in his tracks.

            “You doh checking your boys den?” he asked.

Caris who was still hampered by the wind looked up at the figure who was now standing dead in front of him. The dread-locked young man had a spliff in his mouth and wore more tattoos than clothing. Caris squinted as the young man grinned at him, blowing smoke into the air. Caris knew that smile.

            “Daniel? Daniel Gregoire? Bro is that you?” exclaimed.

            “Yea man, is me dat!” he confirmed.

            “When did you get back to Dominica?”

            “I was always here, I was in Stockfarm!”

            “ohhhh… okay,” Caris staggered, “but it’s good to see you man. I going on a little move there, but we go have to link up.”

            “No problem, do your thing, we will link up,”

Caris shimmied out of the crowd after tagging Daniel. He had changed so much, from the nerdy little high school classmate to an ex-con. It had really been a long while. Caris couldn’t dwell too much on that situation though as thoughts of Sanya came rushing back to him. He opened the gate and stepped onto the walkway. The overgrown lawn, which was now crowding the walkway, was wet from an earlier shower. Caris bent down to touch the grass, moistening his palms and then wiping them on his pants. He was still very nervous.

He proceeded towards the door but stopped dead in his tracks as he got to the front step. He was about to reach for the doorknob when he saw two figures through the window. He wasn’t expecting anyone else to be there. He wanted to retract his steps and then return later. He had arrived earlier than Sanya would have expected. As he motioned to turn around, he glimpsed through the window, at the exact time that a gentle gust of wind pushed against the curtain.

Caris saw an image that left him open-mouthed. Sanya was in a deep embrace with another man. It wasn’t a friendly kiss; more like the deep, passionate, soulful kiss that Caris had thought would end his night. Instead it was about to ruin all his plans.

The shadowy figure of the guy reached for the back of Sanya’s head, tilting it slight and tightening the kiss as she let out a low, hissing moan. Caris dropped to his knees. He turned away completely from the silhouetted appearance but recoiled onto the front step. He put his hands over his face and breathed in deeply. It was over. Caris stood up, put his right hand into his pocket, pulled out the Jah Cure tickets and pushed them underneath the door. He wanted Sanya to find them there; he wanted her to know he was at her doorstep.

As he walked away from the scene, he turned and gave them one final look. The curtain flung up even higher this time to confirm the earlier scene.

“But, I know that haircut; I know those ears,” he thought, “that’s…” but his mouth didn’t allow him to finish his statement. It was too dry.

He turned to his ride, drove straight home, put off his cell phone and took a sip from the bottle of wine that he had wanted to share with Sanya. He threw the rest against the wall as he dived into his bed. He lay there with his face towards the ceiling as the fan circled. Tears filled his eyes. He stayed in that very spot until sadness forced him to fall asleep.

The End.

The Kiss

The Kiss
By Delroy Nesta Williams

She took one lick of her ice cream and I knew that I wanted those lips against mine. It was cherry vanilla. The dim light of the lamp post and the short rain shower that had just subsided meant that we were alone on Old Street under one of the huge verandas that had made Roseau famous. The French-influenced architecture was all around and provided temporary shelter from the short shower, but it was the furthest thing from my mind. There were beads of rain drops on her forehead and cheeks, her hair partially covered her visage but I was still able to look her straight into her eyes. They were hazel, complimenting her skin color. She looked at me, smiled and those dimples of hers just made a small cry to me. She wanted me, her eyes also told the story. I touched her left hand, held her fingers between mine and pulled her towards me. I could feel her heart racing, even more than mine. Her lips were still covered in the cold ice cream as I leaned in and touched the corners of her mouth whipping off a spot. I licked my finger.

"You can have the real thing," she said

"The ice cream?" I teased.

"If that’s what you really want," she responded.

"If that’s what you’re giving me," I nervously quipped realizing now that I was on the brink of that first kiss.

She leaned in and for a moment my mind took a journey back to our very first encounter. Who would have thought that the brief two-minute meeting of nearly three years ago would have led to this instant?

Annie, her sister had introduced us during one of our brief mid-town meetings. Annie was the coworker of my ex-girlfriend Crystal and often teased me about getting back with her. Her relentless teasing had morphed into a friendship, one that would prove very tricky but beneficial. On one of those afternoon encounters, Sophie was with her. I didn't pay her any mind at first but during those two quick minutes Sophie did something that would remain with me for a while. I didn't even figure it out at the time but I did recognize it the next time we met. In fact, I recognized it from a photo I had seen of her. She was the girl that I had always wanted to be with but was never lucky enough to encounter. I had often found myself in affairs with needy young women, needy of my money, my time and that usually turned me off. For one, I didn't have much money and secondly I was a busy-bodied person. My free time was spent traveling around the island or freelancing overseas.

I was so busy that my last relationship was based on a Facebook encounter, which coincidentally would be where I came across Sophie again. It just happened one day while I was bored at my office. I logged onto Facebook and there she was, ForeverFabulous, her profile name. Her profile picture stared me right in the face, her eyes fixed on mine or maybe it was mine fixed on hers. I can’t remember those details. That's when I realized that I needed to have her, right then and there. She jumped off the page and appealed to me. It was sexual but it was also a lot more. She stood in her living room, in a green and yellow bikini. That confidence called out my name. It was like she was saying "I'm sexy, I know it but you still can't have me. Eat your heart out."

I was determined to prove her wrong. I had a knack for defying the odds. I had to do it this time as well. I would get her. Yes, she would be mine. So I sent a desperate friend request and I got back an immediate acceptance. It was on and popping. I didn’t say anything to her at first, I just sent a poke. The attention-seeking poke. I got no response so it was back to the drawing board, plan B. I sent a solitary “hi” to her inbox, still no response. It was time that I made her feel my presence on Facebook, I would not be ignored. It was time to go through her photo albums. I would like every one, except those that looked like she was with her boyfriend or some male companion. That would be a clear signal to her; that should work. It didn’t – nothing, not even after two weeks of “stalking” her profile.

I was going to do the desperate thing next but her sister saved me the trouble. Just as I was contemplating sending her a timeline message about my desperate need for her, Annie tagged Sophie in a status. She responded so I joined in the conversation too. Pretty smart, if I might say so myself. She wouldn’t ignore my comments after all, they were general and discreet but I made it evident that I was trying to get her attention. I sent her a private message at the same time. Bingo, she replied although not the response I wanted:

            “Please, leave me alone, I don’t want a man and I’m not interested in you,”

            “I’m not trying to be your man!” I replied defiantly.

            “So why are you bothering me then?”

            “Oh, so you’ve noticed?”

            “Yes, so now stop it please!”

            “I’m sorry but I can’t stop,”

            “Well then, I will have to stop you!”

And with that she signed out on me. I felt cold, defeated and fearful. What would she do? I signed out immediately too, I didn’t want to know. I stayed off from Facebook for a few days but when I went back, there was nothing.

I would not be daunted by this first act of rejection so I sent her another message. She responded:

            “Persistent?”

            “Very,” I replied.

            “I like that,”

            “Is that all that you like?” I asked.

            “There are other things,”

            “Can I find out?”

            “Can you?” she quipped.

            “I can!” I confirmed.

She responded with a smiley face. I was in. I found out that she lived in Goodwill with her mom and brothers. She was still in a relationship but it was on a rocky road, and although she had a son with her boyfriend at the time I thought I could work my way around that. Just a minor detail I thought if she was going to be mine. I wouldn’t try to break up her relationship but I would still make my move.

Over the next few months we would talk on and off on the phone. I also saw her a few times in Roseau while I was running errands for work. I visited her workplace every time I could, even if it meant spending just two or three minutes. I would always make sure I made her smile before I left, giving her something to think about after my departure. I had hoped she thought about me after my brief visits. Thoughts of my friend zone situation with Miss George would often cloud my mind and get me depressed but I was determined not to fall to the trappings of any other young lady looking for mere friendship. “You’re everything I want in a man, but nothing I am looking for in a lover,” she had told me, the final dagger in my coffin. It took me years to get over her but I had managed, although I still suffered from temporary lapses and bouts of depression. She was the last girl that I would attempt to give my love, there was no more love in me to give.

But Sophie was different, we talked often about meeting up to spend some real time together and our conversations had crossed the friendship barrier a long time ago, but she always kept brushing me off with some reason or another. I never complained though, even if it killed me inside because I had already made my intentions clear to her so many times; I wanted her and I would be as patient as I could, as patient as I needed to be to get her into my arms, even for a fleeting moment. I wanted her if it meant I was the sidekick, just a scratch-my-back-when-it-itches type of situation or the main squeeze but I couldn’t stay in the friend zone for too long. I had suffered in the friend zone too many times in the past; I didn’t want any more female friends. Maybe I was too direct but it was better than being uncertain.

Kellyne, one of the few female friends that I had allowed to get close to me had invited me to the Windsor Park Sports Stadium to watch the Dominica National Football Team receive a pounding at the hands of their neighbor, St. Lucia. I had always liked her company; she was one of the ladies who would get other young ladies to take notice of me. She didn’t mind that, she wasn’t interested in me in any way but she drew attention to me and Dominican women tended to gravitate to men who were already taken, so I played the role. I held her hands while walking up the stand, giving her small nudges while we sat next to each other. I even left my seat to get her popcorn and soda. I fed her the popcorn, we laughed and laughed loudly. Kellyne was the perfect attractant so I played the boyfriend role and it felt good.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, surprising me so much that it caused me to shift in my seat.

“So that’s your girlfriend?” the anonymous text asked.

“Yes!” I replied, lying but playing along to see where this was heading.

           

“Okay,”

“Just okay?”

“I thought you were single,”

“Is that a problem?”I deflected.

“No it isn’t!”

“btw, who is this?”

“lol, now you’re asking?”

“Yes, now you got my interest”

“I’m just behind you, a few rows, in yellow,”

And with that I turned around slightly to see Sophie with a sly smile on her face. She had this yellow flowered summer dress that hugged her body. Not the type of outfit that I expected her to wear but she showed it off very well. There was no one sitting next to her though, strangely.

           

            “Are you alone?” I asked.

            “Yes,” she responded.

            “Where’s your boyfriend?”

            “He doesn’t like football and he lives far!”

That was the opportunity I needed but Kellyne was with me.  Kellyne wasn’t paying any mind to my text messaging as she was embroiled in the game. She was one of the few females that I knew who could understand football but she was a Manchester United fan and that point of contention was enough to turn me off. Manchester United was my sworn enemy. Kellyne knew it too and rubbed it in every time she got a chance, especially since my beloved Arsenal were yet to win a trophy in eight years.

           

            “So what are you doing after?” I messaged Sophie.

           

            “I’m not sure… head home, I guess,”

            “Right away?” I asked, a little disappointed as I turned my head towards her again. She was staring in my direction, right at me to. She smiled when she received my message.

            “Yes… you have plans for me?”

            “I was hoping we could spend some time together,”

            “But you have company,”

            “Let me worry about my company, just make sure you’re company later,”

            “Yes sir!” she replied

            “Meet me by I-Roc around 8,”

           

            “Cool,”

            “Nice,” I replied, turning my attention back to the game and Kellyne. Suddenly I found myself nervously excited, fidgeting with my phone and keys. I couldn’t think straight as I was already imagining Sophie in my arms.

I-Roc was locked by the time she met me there, almost an hour later than we had planned. I was just beginning to walk away when she called my phone. The Arch wasn’t the safest place to be alone at that hour. A vagrant had made the gazebo his bedroom, as he clumped away in a corner trying to keep himself warm even with a very cold river breeze to his back. I was shivering although I wore my hooded sweater so it amazed me how he looked so at home in rags on the cold concrete floor while at the mercy of the river. He actually snored quite loudly even without a comforter or pillow.

Sophie gave me a tight squeeze, so tight that I didn’t even feel like letting go. Her nipples pierced through her dress; either as a result of the cold weather or she was really excited to see me. I closed my eyes briefly to imagine my fingers running over her plump breasts and my tongue massaging her nipples. I was trying to hide my anticipation but my eyes were a dead giveaway.

            “Let’s get out of here!” I ordered.

           

            “Where are we going?” she asked.

            “You want ice cream?” I hit back, my voice trailing as I pulled her by the arm. I didn’t even wait for an answer. I wanted to show my decisiveness tonight. It was a part of my plan. As we strolled towards Island Ice Cream I couldn’t help but think about Kellyne. Although I was having this very overtly sexual conversation with Sophie my mind drifted to Kellyne, I had left her immediately after the game. The poor girl thought I was going to check on my mom who suddenly developed chest pains. I had text Nigel, one of my “bomb tags” and told him to call me back but remain silent on the other end of the line. I pretended to be talking to my sister and was reacting to her news about my mother’s pain. Kellyne was very sympathetic and even suggested to drive me to my mom’s house but I declined her assistance. I told her I needed to walk, needed to think and clear my mind before I became too emotional in front of my mother. The truth is that I wanted to rush off to meet Sophie. Now that I was with Sophie, I was thinking of Kellyne though. I snapped back to reality, and nudged Sophie a bit to let her know that I was still there with her. She smiled and pushed back at me but I was expecting it. I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her next to me.

            “It’s about time I hold you in my arms, I could get used to this,” I said.

            “Me too, I like the feel of being in your arms,”

            “I don’t want to let you go,”

            “What about my ice cream?” she reminded.

            “Oh yes, the ice cream,” I repeated.

I continued walking shoulder to shoulder with her, my hand brushing against hers, every now and then holding it for a few seconds, just to keep some form of contact. She didn’t mind, she was actually more open and more unperturbed than I would have thought.

            “So what flavor ice cream do you want?” I asked upon entering into the shop.

            “I want whatever it is that you get me,”

That sounded so suggestive that it caused me to stumble on the tiles. I grabbed one of the pillars to steady myself as Sophie pretended not to notice. The shop was filled with parents and their children so we ventured unto a small wooden bench just behind everyone else to wait our turn.

            “I want to tell you a secret,” I said

            “Tell me!” she ordered

            “In your ear,” I responded as I leaned towards her.

She leaned towards me as I placed a soft bite just on her ear lobes. She hissed but didn’t make awkward or rash movements to draw the attention of the crowd.

            “I should have expected that, I will know better next time,”

            “What else should you expect,”

            “I don’t normally have expectations, so surprise me,”

            “That I can definitely do,” I confirmed  and stepped forward to order the ice cream.

I got her a double scoop of ice cream on a wafer cone and for myself, a bag of M&M’s.

Sophie’s lips touched mine and although they were cold, a bolt of electricity shot across her body into mine. Her lips were so soft and moist and as I caressed her tongue with mine I brought my hands to her cheeks, holding her head in place to savour the moment. I lay soft bites on her lips and ran my fingers to the back of her neck. She jerked forward slightly and her pelvis slanted right into my crotch. I was fully erect and she knew it. She rubbed against me letting out some soft moans as I lowered my hands down her back and grabbed her ass. She dropped the rest of the ice cream cone and pushed her hands under my sweater and vest to dig into my flesh. Her cold nails caused my back to arch. She smiled and let out a lowly giggle under her breath. I slightly pushed her in between two vendor’s stalls and pinned her against the wall. I started to thrust my waist into her, grinding between her thighs. Her moans were getting louder. I lifted her dress, lowered her panties and squeezed her bare ass with my hands. I wanted to have her there and then. I pulled her even closer towards me, now nibbling on the back of her neck as she ran her nails up and now my back, it felt like she wanted to tear my flesh from the bones. I wriggled myself in such a way that my pants were beginning to fall to my ankles and lifted her left leg. She didn’t stop me. At that very moment a car whizzed past us, splashing a pothole filled with dirty water in our direction. That must have woken Sophie from her sexual daze and she jumped from my grasp and pulled up her panties.

            “Stop, stop, we have to stop,” she cried out.

            “Okay, okay,” I replied still a little dumbfounded myself.

            “I shouldn’t even be here, I am not a cheater, I am not a cheater,” she kept on repeating.

            “Let me take you home then,” I said, hoping that I would get the chance to redeem myself on the way to her house.

            “No, no… I can make it on my own,” she replied, as she dashed away from me.

I tried to chase her forgetting that my pants were down to my ankles and fell, my arms just saving me from the gutter's muddy water. I pulled myself up, put on my pants as quickly as I could and ran in the direction that Sophie had taken. I took the corner and ran up Great Marlborough Street but Sophie was speeding away already, almost out of sight. I didn’t want to chase her any further to create any scene so I stopped, calmed myself and walked home.

I hadn’t walked for five minutes when I noticed a white Toyota Corolla pull up in the area, about thirty meters ahead of me. Out walked Kellyne and this well-built man. I stopped and looked on, making sure though that I wasn’t seen. He opened the door and they went upstairs. The door locked behind them. I walked towards the door, listened against it and suddenly found myself stooping down at the base of the step. Tears streamed down my eyes.

            “I love Kellyne,” I whispered, “I love Kellyne.”

Break Time

Break Time
by Delroy Nesta Williams

Home was never really a happy place. I was the first of three children, all girls raised by a single mom and all of us by different fathers. She, my mother, was a victim of men’s promises, each one filling her with empty words of taking care of her and her children but each wanting and leaving her after they had their own. She learned the lesson quickly though and although it stressed her to take care of all of us by her lonesome self, my mother seldom complained. My mother worked any and every job she could find to provide for us and that really meant that raising the children and running the house was left to the eldest among us, which just so happened to be me!

Some days were good but lately I felt like the world was on my frail, tiny shoulders and I needed a break. I tried to remain strong because I, as the oldest, maybe understood what my mother was going through the best. I never heard or saw my mother cry, well actually, I did, but only once. She was having a phone conversation late one night and I just happened to be awake. Words that may be hidden by the noise of the day ring loud in the still of the night. She was speaking about my father and from what I could understand from the muttered, tear-filled words, he was not helping her to pay for my CXC exams and the deadline for payment was coming up soon. I promised myself then and there that I would approach him as soon as I could, I had no idea what I would tell him though but I was sure that he would look at me in a different light after our encounter.

I never told my mother about it and it had been almost two weeks since I overheard her conversation but I was yet to see my father. I had tried to block out the late night images from my thoughts but any little issue would bring back her words and tears, even if I only envisioned them from across the walls of our small house. My mother was already out of the house by the time I got up from my mattress, which I had placed in the corner of the room so she wouldn’t disturb me when she was leaving for work. It was like that almost every morning and although it was only 6:30 a.m., she had already taken two buses to make her way to work in Mero, which meant that she usually left the house before my younger sisters were even awake.

I was busy frying eggs and sausage when my sisters, Lisha and Kerdisha, came into our small outdoor kitchen moving like they were sleepwalking.

                “We hungry!” they cried out in unison.

                “Allu just get up wii, go an’ take a bath, when allu come back allu will get breakfast,” I replied as sternly as I could. I reminded myself of my mother, she was beginning to rub off on me so much that it frightened me at times.

                “And hurry up eh, we walking to school today cause mammy doh leave bus money for us,”

Ten minutes later and they had both returned to the kitchen, half dressed but with a famish in their eyes that softened my heart.

                “Eat! Eat before allu fall down dere on my account eh. I cyah answer to mammy much less for de government,” again borrowing my mother’s phrases. I never understood what she meant about answering to the Government but it always seemed to instill fear in me so I used it with my sisters. They looked up to me so much that I couldn’t be too hard on them though, not all the time.

By the time they had eaten and gotten fully dressed, it was already 7:30 and we rushed out of the house. From where we lived in Newtown the school was a quick walk but with two troublesome sisters, even that could be a challenge. Lisha had a question about everything she saw and Kerdisha would always find something to play with just to annoy me. But still, I loved my sisters, more than anyone in my life.

School was a different world though; it was my sanctuary from the troubles and challenges of home. For about five hours I didn’t have to think about anything else but classes and assignments. Oh and off course, my girls! We had developed our little clique from first form, five years ago and we had still remained friends from that time. There were fallouts, major ones too but we always found a way to come back together. The Gorgeous Girls: Kisha, Lorry, Crystal, Natasha and I. I had known Natasha longer than the rest, since our days in primary school so we were closest among the five of us. Still, lately Natasha had become a little distant from the rest of us. There were times when she wouldn’t eat with us at break time, and now she was always late for our library “meetings” and had become very secretive.

That was unlike her because she used to be the bubbly one that always cracked the jokes or picked on each of us. She was the glue that kept us together. She had mended the fallout between Lorry and Kisha over Craig.  It seemed that Lorry had liked Craig but Craig was only interested in Kisha so that put a rift between the girls but Natasha stepped in and Craig stepped out of the picture soon after that. I can still remember the look on his face when she told him to “get to stepping” - her favorite phrase at that time.

Natasha, Crystal and I were in the same class which also meant we spent more time together whereas Lorry and Kisha were in another class across the school yard. Crystal was being forced to remain in the class during break time because she stood up to the teacher during our history class. Unfortunately for Crystal, her mouth was always her biggest problem. She took offence at the teacher saying that Christopher Columbus discovered Dominica. She had the balls to put Miss Seaman on blast and ended up by calling her “brainwashed and stupid” and accused her of “perpetuating stereotypes” in front of the entire class. Off course, a class of hyped up teenage girls took the opportunity to laugh at Miss Seaman which wasn’t at all too pleasing to her so she made an example of Crystal. Crystal didn’t worry about the punishment though because in her mind she had won, Miss Seaman wouldn’t be discounting the contributions of her Kalinago people anymore. There was no greater victory since Crystal was actually of Kalinago heritage, at least from her mother’s side of the family. But please don’t tell Crystal that she was only half-Kalinago, unless you wanted to face the wrath of her death stare!

Lorry and Kisha, the sports junkies had a netball team meeting during the break as well, which meant that I had Natasha all to myself, so we could talk about her strange behavior lately. We went to our section of the school yard, underneath the flambouyant tree. It was our regular meeting point, so much so that the other girls in the school didn’t even venture near it. That spot would remain empty even if we didn’t use it during break; so much was the respect and fear we had garnered from the rest of the school. Nobody questioned our right to the spot and we loved that.

As we sat on the bench, I pulled out my snack from my paper bag but I noticed that Natasha didn’t have anything in her hands.

                “Where your snack ner?” I asked.

                “I waiting for it,” she responded.

                “Waiting for it, what you mean you waiting for it?”

                “Somebody bringing it for me jus now,” she said coyly.

                “Okay den,” I sounded as I stared into her big brown eyes.

She tried to watch away but I saw the glimmer in her eyes which meant that there was more to the story than what she was telling me. Natasha could never keep a secret and if there was one, I was surprised that she had kept it from me for so long. As I searched her eyes I realized that my friend seemed a lot different. She was changing right before my very eyes and I had barely even noticed until now. She had relaxed her hair a few weeks ago but that didn’t raise any alarms. Upon closer inspection though, I now saw that Natasha was evolving into a fine young woman. Her eyebrows were shaped, her earrings were different, shimmering in the early morning sunlight and even her uniform seemed new.

                “What’s going on ner?” I asked.

                “Nothing, why?”

                “You seem different,”

                “Me?”

                “No corn, yes you!” I scolded her.

                “Girl you behaving too much like your moda eh,” she laughed in her attempt to change the topic but that wasn’t working. I wanted to know why my best friend was slowly changing and I hadn’t even noticed it until now. But worst, why she hadn’t confided in me at all. It was unlike her, we spoke about everything, she knew all of my secrets and I thought I knew all of hers, until now.

                “Talk, I want to know,”

                “I can’t tell you!”

                “You can tell me anything eh!”

                “Not that one ner!”

                “Why ner?”

                “I made a promise wii,”

                “Wat about our promise? Wat about our friendship den?”

                “Dat different eh,”

Just then Natasha pushed her hands into the pocket of her uniform and pulled out a cell phone which was vibrating in her hand. I was surprised. She hastily read and responded to the text message then turned to me.

                “You have a cell phone?” I shrieked.

                “Yes, I do!” she responded defiantly.

                “Since when?” I questioned.

                “Since he…,” she paused, “since I bought one.”

                “Who is he? Doh think I doh hear de he eh,”

                “It not important and I cyah tell you anyways,”

                “If it not important den I can know,” I said as I cornered her.

                “My boyfriend dat buy me de phone, okay!”

                “You have boyfriend? Since when? How I doh know dat?” I yelled.

                “Well tell de whole school ner!” she responded, sucking her teeth at me.

                “Sorry, sorry… but you have boyfriend wii, your mother know that?”

                “How my mother can know that ner?”

                “So she doh see de phone den?”

                “It always on silent!”

                “Since when you have boyfriend?”

                “About two months now,”

                “TWO whole months,” I screamed out at first then but lowering my voice as I realized I was embarrassing my friend.

                “So when you was going to tell me? And who is he?”

                “But look I jus tell you wii and you might see him cuz he bringing snack for me just now. He dat jus text me der,”

                “Okay, okay,”

                “But you cyah make him see you, so you will have to hide,”

                “Why I have to hide?”

                “Cuz is our secret. He doh want people to know for now,”

                “Who is he?”

                “You will see when he come in de ride!”

                “He have a ride den? Big tings man?”

                “Yes, he does!”

And that was the end of that as she left to go to the washroom. We now had our plan though and I would stay behind the wall, walking out just about the time where he was handing her the snack so I could sneak a peek at him. He had a car which meant he had to be a lot older than her but she didn’t take me on when I raised my objection.

                “I going to have a boyfriend one day eh, so why it cyah be today?” she asked.

                “So allu sexing? Your moda know?”

                “Yes, we fuck a few times... my moda can never know, she still think I a virgin wii,”

                “Agatha go break your bones”

                “And your moda doh break yours?”

I had no response to so I dropped the issue and changed the topic. My friend seemed happy and so I would be happy for her even if it troubled me that he was a lot older than her. We would soon be out of school though, graduating in a few months so I guess in her mind she was ready to be an adult. I couldn’t see myself with a boyfriend. Not because I didn’t want one but because my mother would kill me. She had already embarrassed me enough for Jason the last time. She had given me a beating in the school yard when she found out about it, an experience I don’t want to ever relive. Her daily scolding was now enough to keep me without a boyfriend for the next ten years.

We continued to talk for about two minutes, enough time for her to tell me about how she met her new boyfriend. She had gone by All Nations Bar in Newtown to buy fish and fries for her mother on a Friday night and he was there with his girlfriend, where they were having a public break up. Then he met her there a few weeks later and started up a conversation. He had even paid for her meal that night and that started things off. They didn’t meet too often because he worked a lot but when he could he would take her out, even at nights and at weekends. She would tell her mother that she was going over to my house, even without my knowledge. He bought her the cell phone for her birthday, a Samsung Galaxy S3. I had never owned a cell phone, my mother couldn’t afford it. My mother would have broken my bones too if I had ever brought one home. She didn’t want me accepting gifts from anybody. Her words always rang in my ears, “men don’t give you anything without expecting something in return.” I always sensed bitterness in her words when she said that, like she was speaking from a dark experience, like she had lived out the mistake herself.

Just when my thoughts were transitioning to images of my mother and that fateful phone conversation, Natasha jumped up from our spot and rushed towards the school gate. I was well hidden behind the wall and ready to follow through with our plan. I could see her big broad smile in the reflection of the car’s glass. It was well tinted; I couldn’t see a thing through the glass. She seemed more than happy with her boyfriend as she waited for him to bring down the window. It came down slowly to reveal an older man, his eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses. As he himself lifted the glasses, I saw his very own smile as well. He donned a wide spaced tooth, strong cheek bones that rose up with his smile. But I still couldn’t make him out properly as he turned his head towards her and he reached into a bag to pull out her snack. It was then that I stepped forward to have a closer look at the mystery man. His smile froze on his face as my mouth opened wide too.

Mr. Charles was her boyfriend. Mr. Damian Charles, her boyfriend. My best friend’s boyfriend was my very own father! The man who wouldn’t pay my CXC fees was wining and dining my best friend.

The End.