A woman of Roseau

Hi friends

it's been a while since i actively blogged... to be honest, i've been focusing more on my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/DelroyNesta) but i've got some new stuff that i am working on, some of which i will also share here... This is a new poem (wrote it last night), inspired by an image I saw as I was driving through the streets of Roseau after i came from a poetry show (Lyrics Under The Stars):

A woman of Roseau
By Delroy Nesta Williams

I'm sorry but there's nothing innocent
About a woman walking through Roseau's streets at 2:00am
With the confidence of sanitary napkins in her steps
Because her bank account is just a little more swollen than the belly of her teenage daughter
Who's about to make her a grandmother
She got paid for that transaction
And even got a little extra
To spread her own legs
It's bad enough she sold her child
Now she's also riding shotgun at the molester's side
Tomorrow she can afford to cook all her children Sunday lunch
And even have extra to cover supper.
As her high heels hit the pavement
Rhythmic like a Triple Kay drum set
You realize there's another story behind her swinging assets
One of a woman fooled by men that she loved
As one by one they promised her the world
But one by one, the left... Leaving only remnants of their presence
A gift of some sorts that continues to give back
Because now instead of one generation
Her tiny, almost broken down shack
Houses children, grandchildren and even boyfriends
You look into her eyes and you see a lifetime of hurt and pain
A woman stained like the clothes of a farmer who toils the soil planting bananas and plantain
But the cargo boats are long gone
And her fruits are still on the port
Bathing in the hot, dry sun
A consignment of rejects
Dropouts of schools and fired from jobs
Because they've got no qualifications
So this woman has the Earth and Mars to shoulder
And I can only guess how she makes it from one day to another
But her midnight walk only gives us a clue
As to why this woman doesn't sleep when we do
Why she plies her trade when the owls howls
And only the barking dogs and crowing cocks summon the sunrise
If you look closely you will see the fear in her eyes
Because her offspring may just pick up her calling
They're already mimicking her tendencies
Being fooled by the first dude who speaks of love
It's a vicious cycle that won't be stopped
Because a child can't raise a child to be a woman
That mathematics doesn't add up
So she just adapts
And the children just adopt
Because to her it has become second nature
But now it's 3:00am
And she's home
But she can't go to bed
She's got so many things running through her head
Got to cook, clean and basically do everything
Be the man, woman and sometimes even the child
A household running wild
And it's so sad to know
That this shit is happening right next door!

Life

By Delroy Nesta Williams and Dionne Francis

There’s something I’ve been wondering

Wondering from the day of my birth

What’s my purpose here on earth?

From a younging, I’ve been questioning

And no one's willing to provide the answer

I’m feeling like I’m searching for the unknown,

Someone lend me a compass,

Help me in the right direction.

Though in my mind I’m still wondering

If it'll be the right direction

What if it’s advice derived from an imagination?

What if the answer does not meet up to my satisfaction?

I just started my route but I wonder if it’s going to be rocky, curved or straight at the end

Is there a heavenly gate?

Some say at the end you see the light

Will my quest be easy or do I have to put up a fight?

I feel like I'm heading towards self-destruction

Like I'm about to drink this concoction,

Leading to suicide,

A fate from which I just can't hide

What about all my hopes and dreams?

I’m simple tired of this frustrating reality

Should I really take the next step and jump?

Will I crash and burn to the floor

Or suddenly develop wings of an angel and soar?

Fly through the sky and look at the world from the clouds,

Suddenly my life has no bounds,

I can do all that i put my mind too,

It's like I've suddenly discovered superpowers,

A means to and end of my struggles

I know it's all a risk

But it's one I’m willing to take

I need to differentiate between what's real and what's fake

My life feels like pieces of a puzzle scattered

Like some sort of a brain teaser to put together

I often ask myself "am I in my right mind?"

But is there even a wrong mind?

Am I not supposed to make my own decisions?

From today I am on a new mission.

No more stressing,

Or seeking answers without asking the right questions

Need to understand who I am,

Before I find my place within the master's plan,

Or is it the other way around?

Now I am even more confused and feeling dumb...

Life is really a maze,

Getting through it depends on the steps you take

And one wrong decision of the past,

Can lead to you being miles off track.

But never stop running, never stop moving,

Because that's when the situation overwhelms you,

And you find yourself in a world of trouble.

But in the end it's all worth it,

You can look back at your life and say "hey, I’ve made it"

You may not get to the finish line looking perfect,

But once you get to end you will realize

All the bullshit was time well spent. 

Michael's Childhood

Arguably his truest lyrics, according to his own words. Although not my favourite song of Michael (I have many favourites), I felt it appropriate to share it:

Michael Jackson's Childhood Lyrics:

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for the world that I come from

'Cause I've been looking around

In the lost and found of my heart...

No one understands me

They view it as such strange eccentricities...'

Cause I keep kidding around

Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay

'Cause I love such elementary things...

It's been my fate to compensate,

for the Childhood

I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for that wonder in my youth

Like pirates in adventurous dreams,

Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,

Look within your heart then ask,

Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I'm strange that way

'Cause I love such elementary things,

It's been my fate to compensate,

for the Childhood I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for that wonder in my youth

Like fantastical stories to share

The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.

The painful youth I've had

Have you seen my Childhood...

May your soul rest in peace after death because it was misunderstood during life

Nesta

Poem: life's education

My sister wanted a poem about school and I wrote one for her, not the kind of school she had in mind but everything that happens throughout our lifetime teaches us something so I took that as my inspiration for the poem. The poem may seem dark to you but I actually draw alot of hope from it.

Life’s Education
By Delroy "Nesta" Williams


There are no walls or blackboards here
And the lesson is taught after the class,
Though the teacher is omni-present
He’s still invisible to the carefree student.

This is a time of personal battles,
Where it seems the world determines the rules,
And just when you think you’ve earned the grades
With graduation on the horizon,
A new lesson from the teacher emerges.

A glimmer of your hope quickly erased in an instant
For two steps forward can lead to a hike from miles away.
There’s no room for petty games in this classroom
As the school is life long
And coronation comes after the grave.

Only death hands over the certificate
As a passage to true liberty,
This depends on personal choices
To a newness that can’t be enslaved.

Only achievable by the path trodden,
To and from the school of life,
But beware of the eternal detention
If you don’t heed life’s lesson.

quote of the week: life

Quote of the week for this week comes via the msn messenger sign-in name of a friend of mine. It speaks about life and it simply says:

"In three words I can sum up everything that i have learnt about life: it goes on"

thanks Diana for this one...

I guess it speaks to not taking things too seriously and even in the worst of situations we always have to be mindful that life will continue with or without us. It also makes me want to live for the moment and cherish the time that i have already spent on earth. Love the people i should love while i can love them because tomorrow is definitely not my own.

So to anyone who reads my blog, tell your loved ones how you feel before it's too late.

Nesta