Walking Away - Domestic Violence poem

I wrote this poem to raise awareness about Domestic Violence after two significant events took place over the past few weeks. First of all, the CARICOM Youth Ambassadors (some of whom are my friends) have started to raise awareness about this issue by having various events aimed at sensitizing the public about the issue. ORANGE DAY, as it is called, is being held on the 25th of every month.

Yesterday a friend invited me to join a Facebook group dedicated to help women and children who are victims of Domestic Violence and need support to get out of their dire situation. After having a conversation with her and seeing the exchanges in the group, i was moved to pen this poem below, please enjoy...

Walking Away
by Delroy Nesta Williams

That’s where I draw the line
Don’t you dare raise your damn hand on me one more time
I’m tired of the bruises and the scares
I’m nobody’s punching bag
It took me a while to get to this point
But thank God I’ve arrived and I’m not turning back
The load is finally off my back
When I sit and think
How many times I blamed myself for the abuse
Maybe the tea was too sweet
I didn’t make up the bed with the right sheets
I’ve questioned my every action
I’ve second guessed my every thought
For a man who treated me like I was naught
But it’s over now
At first I stayed because I thought this was love
And then I had your son
I thought it would stop after I gave birth to your seed
But that just seemed to add fuel to the fire
And blows was all that I received
It wasn’t my fault that the baby cried at nights
Or that he needed more of my attention that you did
I didn’t replace you with him
But that’s just how you made me feel
I couldn’t do anything right when it came to you
And that made me feel so empty and blue
I would have done anything for you
Carried the world on my back if you asked me too
My 15 years of abuse is much more than one woman should take
So much more, but I still leave with a heartache
Because I truly loved you
That maybe made me blind to all the abuse
At least, you didn’t claim my soul
That would have been the nail in my coffin
And that I just can’t allow our son to behold
I’ve tried to raise him to be better than you
Hopefully he won’t do the same things you did
I will teach him how to love a woman
A real man never raises his hands
I’ve packed my bags, nothing can let me stay
I just wanted to be a woman
Say goodbye and let you watch me walk away
Don’t you even thinking of trying to stop me
Or raise your hands to even touch me
I don’t want any sorry excuse
You had years to consider the extent of your abuse
Nights spent crying myself to sleep
I couldn’t do anything, only weep
Soaking my pillow in tears
Lost in a world of fear
I wouldn’t wish this on my greatest enemy
You tried your best but you still didn’t break me
It’s time to set my spirit free
A weight has been lifted off my shoulders
I feel like dancing under rain showers
So I could drown my tears in the rain
Relieve myself of all this pain
It’s hard leaving you
But it’s for the best
Now I see the truth
I know I will get another man to love me like I deserve
I hope I don’t hold your sins against the other men of this world
All this resentment I now hold towards you
I need to find a way to let it go
Throw my bitterness to the wilderness
And welcome tomorrow like the days of spring
All things new; the rebirth of a my being
I’m leaving just the way I came
Of my own free will
Oh, I’m taking my son too
He’s a part of the deal
You leave me alone forever more
15 years of my life I will never get back
But I’ve got the rest of my life to make up for that
See the world like I’ve always dreamed it
Or at least live like I wish it
Do all the things that you averted
Because of your silly, jealous tendencies
I can finally speak to my male friends
Without you throwing temper tantrums
Bye now and don’t you try to stop me
I will send my brother for my things
And don’t you dare throw away anything
I hope you sleep well tonight
If I was you, I would sleep with one eye wide
Open…

Check out more of my poems on my Facebook notes

ORANGE is the colour... Saturday August 25th is the day...

Violence against women and young girls has been and still is a problem associated with most societies and, even within the relatively peaceful Caribbean, we are not immune to acts of violence against the female gender. We hear all the speeches and the news inserts every year from various interest gro

ups on or around the time of the international day of recognition (November 25th of every year) set aside to raise awareness of the issue but we hardly even do anything after that day has passed.

So I was pleased when my friend, a CARICOM Youth Ambassador (CYA), sent me a blackberry messenger broadcast that they would be raising awareness of the issue soon through a social network rally. I'm personally joining this social network rally to fight v

iolence against women and girls by the CARICOM Youth Ambassadors on Saturday 25th, 2012 and if you want to join as well, just read the message below:

Friends, The CARICOM Youth Ambassadors are doing a social network promotion where they are rallying to fight

violence against women and girls. Everyone is asked to wear something ORANGE and take a PHOTO and post it on Facebook or Twitter or Blackberry messenger. Make a comment saying something to support our women. Join the fight as we support our women. Wear ORANGE on Saturday 25th, August 2012... Thank you.

I will be wearing an orange armband and an orange t-shirt. Look out for pics on my Facebook page and updates via my Twitter account: @DelroyNesta... (I may just post a pic or two in here as well).

and remember, ORANGE is the colour, SATURDAY is the day...

Are women the key to curbing the drug lifestyle?

I wrote this article for my column, The Chronicles of Nesta, at da-finest.com but the site has been under maintenance for a while now and I just can't sit by and wait anymore so I’ve decided to share the article here on my blog in the meantime - good thing I have a blog too :p.

The article speaks to the drug culture present in Dominica and maybe in other Caribbean countries and how women can probably curb the lifestyle. As always, comments are always welcomed:


Are women the key to curbing the drug lifestyle?

Now before I am attacked by all the feminists and activists, I must tell you that this article isn't against women or a part of the blame game. It is merely an insight into the mind of men, more particularly disadvantaged and marginalized young men.

The Caribbean has been plagued with an increase in crime and violence, something that has been outlined in numerous reports and more recently in the Eye on the Future Report - a report of the CARICOM Commission on Youth Development supported by the United Nations Development Programme in January 2010. A significant portion of those negative actions have been targeted towards and perpetrated by youth, and more particularly young men. A statement in the report indicates that in 2005, Dominican youth were 46 percent of homicide victims, yet represented only 38% of the general population. So in truth and in fact, we are hurting our own selves.

Many academics have spent many an hour and much money delving into the reasons why young people get involved in criminal behavior and it has been ascribed to a number of issues including socio-economic background, peer pressure, influence of American media, etc. However the role of young women and their acceptance of deviant behavior haven’t been exposed as a contributing factor to this phenomenon.

Young men, and more importantly Caribbean men, have always sought acceptance from young women. I would go as far as saying that their every action is directed at attracting the opposite sex. In the tradition of things, young men go to school, to get an education which would lead to a secure job in other to attract their partners but now with modernization and the “fast” money lifestyle, young men have been magnetized towards drugs and crime to fulfill their lofty ambitions. The end-goal though, is still the same – to attract the female partner(s).

Our society has shifted a lot of its core values; more “deviant” behavior is accepted than would have been the case several years ago - for better and for worse as well. The acceptance of the “Papas” into our society has created a certain security and economical gateway for the “ghetto” youth but for only a few. However it is that few, that seems to be the greatest influence, marshaling the onlookers to want to emulate them. The drug lifestyle in itself has brought a wave of crime and violence, like something out of the “New Jack City” movie where Wesley Snipes as Nino Brown, easily turned a New York City block into his own drug fortress. Our own versions of this television character now runs our communities, maybe not with the precision and tenacity as in the movies, but from all indications this is what it is developing into right before our own eyes.

However in New Jack City, we saw how Snipes had a change of heart, influenced by his love for the female gender and how that love was even greater than his love of the criminal lifestyle. He ended up being wheelchair-bound but still with the love of his woman and son. Maybe that should be the lesson we learn from that movie, the role and influence of a woman on man’s ambitions.

If our women, our young women disassociate themselves from the criminal element, this could prove an eye opener for them and spur them to change from this negative lifestyle but that is a big IF, because the young women themselves seem to love and flourish from the gains thereof.

It’s a vicious cycle, this drug problem and more complex than could be tacked from a mere article but it is my hope that I have raised some level of awareness and opened up an area for discussion.