For Nesta: Love Left

Wrote this one last night. I didn't go to carnival this year so I had a lot of free time and just when Carnival was coming to an end, I got an urge to leave the house and run down to Roseau. But instead I chose to open up a box I had next to my bookshelf. Now the bookshelf is filled with books, papers and so many other things that most of the important books, notes, etc never find themselves there. I have been promising to do a general clean up so long that I don't even know where to start now.

Back to the box, I opened it, just to remind myself what I stuffed in there in the first place. Turned out to be a set of letters from an ex-girlfriend. I knew they were in my room, just forget where I stored them. Off course, I started reading them and I must mention that we wrote each other frequently, particularly since she was in NY at the time and emails, web chats and phone calls just didn't suffice.

I remember sitting down on my bed for hours trying to find the right words to convey to her my feelings and sometimes writing five or six-page letters to her. It was a wonderful time for me, to feel loved and to convey my love to her as well. Then the distance creeped in slowly and I could no longer support a long distance relationship, it was all good in the beginning but as with everything else, I soon got tired of having to write, email, chat or call over the phone, I wanted some physical contact and she couldn't give that to me at the time. So I called it off, reluctantly, very reluctantly; it took me months to tell her my decision. I think I did it by email too, not very classy.

I found myself going back through her letters, reminiscing about all that we had gone through and trust me, it was alot, too much to even try to share in this blog; she was/is special to me. So while reading her letters and watching her photos, I started to write her a poem and now I am sharing it with you all.

Love Left
By Delroy "Nesta" Williams

I had Love once
And I let Love go.

Now that I need Love again,
Love is a no show.

If only I could return to the day
That I let Love slip away.

I would have said different things,
I would have given Love my ring.

But today, I sit in bed in full reminiscence,
Wishing for Love’s caring presence,

But all I have is painful memory and regret
Of the day Love left.

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But all is well as I remember this quote from Samuel Butler: "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all."